Not A Girl
by WaterlooRd4Eva
Summary: When Kacey tells everyone she's a boy, Barry is left to set her straight. WARNING: RAPE SCENE.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer-I don't own Waterloo Road or any of the characters. **

**Chapter 1-The Day That Changed My Life**

**Kacey's POV**

"I'M NOT A GIRL, I'M A BOY. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT?!" I Screamed at Barry. He smiled like he does when he's planning something, sickly sweet.

"I'll show you that you're a girl, just wait, baby sis." He empathized the sis. I didn't know what he was planning, but it wasn't good. Let me explain something about my brother. He doesn't give a shit if you lock him in the cooler or anywhere. He will still get me.

I couldn't stand it (or him). I hurtled out of that classroom and out into the corridor, I couldn't let him see me cry. He would say that I was weak, that I was stupid for crying over such a little thing. I charged out of the school and onto the football pitch, I just lay down and cried. Why couldn't he forgive me? He did so much worst and I still forgave him. When I was younger, I had thought that he was the coolest older brother ever. If I got into a fight with anyone, he would beat them up. He would let me tag around with him. He was my favorite person ever. In the whole world. Now… well… he's changed.

As I was walking home I realized that Barry had probably told mum and Dynasty, Dynasty would be okish with it… but mum… She. Will. Kill. Me. Barry's her favorite. It's obvious; she's always telling me to raise some more money for dad's lawyers like her precious Barry, "Light of her life". Ha, she has got to be kidding me if she wants me to be like him. Anyway, as I walked through the door I sneaked up to my room. I couldn't face my mum now, she didn't understand, no one did. I managed to survive until dinner. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so skipping it wasn't an option.

Dinner was the most awkward event, mum and Barry carried on glaring at me, and Dynasty was supportive but she couldn't do anything with them there. Mum finally cracked and dangerously whispered "What the hell, Kacey, do you think you're doing, going around telling all those prying teachers of yours that you're a fucking BOY?" she was now shouting, "YOU ARE CLEARLY A GIRL! MY LITTLE GIRL, NOT MY LITTLE BOY! I WOULD'VE NOTICED THAT BY NOW, DON'T YOU THINK?!"

"I know that I look like a girl, mum, but on the inside I'm a boy." I said, petrified.

"Ha, yeah right." Barry chuckled. Dynasty gave my knee a sympathetic squeeze under the table.

"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND THIS PHASE. YOU ARE A GIRL AND YOU WILL ACT THAT WAY TOO. NOW GET TO YOUR ROOM." Mum screeched.

I ran up the stairs two at a time. I buried my head in my pillow and tried to think what to do. I heard my door open and Barry walked in; he threw some clothes at me. I got up and I saw him rooting through my wardrobe.

"What are you doing?" I asked, what would he want with my clothes?

"Mum told me to get all of your old boy clothes, she gave me this to put in there." He said holding up a skirt and high heels. "You'll look sexy I think." He smirked at me. Barry was the person who I least wanted to see right now, him and his stupid comments, he knows that I will look horrible.

"Baz, I never said you could come in." I said, why won't he just leave me alone? He's still collecting my clothes.

"Yeah, well, mum said that I could come in." He replied with that same twisted smirk on his face. "Plus, this is my house as well and I can do whatever the hell I want to." He started to leave, but before he left he came up close to me, so close that I could feel his breath on my neck. He whispered "You better do what I say or you'll regret it." I was so scared. Then he said cheerfully "Goodnight, sis!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Warned**

**Kacey's POV**

The next morning my mum woke me up and I had a shower but when I was looking for my clothes, all I could find were skirts, I hated it, but I had to wear it. Mum drove us to school and when we got there Dynasty told mum that I wasn't getting out. Finally I got out and I walked into school, Baz was there waiting for us.

"Last time I saw legs like that I had it with chips." He said with his stupid grin. I hate him.

XXXXX

After I was crying in the bathroom, Zoe found me and offered me her spare trousers. I was feeling great as I walked along the corridor. That was, until I saw Barry coming towards me, I slowed down as he sped up.

"I don't believe this. Mum told you to wear a skirt." His voice meant danger.

"Leave me alone." I said as I tried to pass him but he grabbed my arm.

"Look at the state of you. You are an embarrassment. To mum and the whole family"

"Get lost Barry, I wouldn't tell you what to wear." I tried to pass again but he hit my shoulder. I knew that he wasn't playing around.

"Do you want everyone laughing at you? At me?"

"So this is what it's all about." He pinned me to the wall.

"You must be crazy if you think that I'm going to let you walk around school looking like a… don't forget, Kace, I know who you are. I know everything about you. And this;" He said as he loosened his grip to look at me. "This is not going to happen."

"Barry…"

"Watch out, Kace, change back into that skirt by the end of school or else." He said as he walked away. I looked after him, wondering what to do. Should I ask Zoe what to do? Nah she'll just say not to. Why does she hate my family so much? I'm pretty sure Barry would kill me just for talking to her… I could ask Mr. Clarkson. But mum said to keep the prying teachers out of it. No I'll do whatever the hell I want to. It's my clothes, right? It's ME. Not Barry or mum, they can't tell me what to wear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Normal**

**Barry's POV**

I was waiting outside Kacey's classroom after school. She was sitting next to that lezza, Zoe. And you know what else? She was still wearing those clothes. I warned her, didn't I? She's going to pay now…

**Kacey's POV**

As I was packing up my history stuff, I noticed Barry waiting outside. He was looking right at me. Fuck.

"Miss Barry, Please stay behind and clean up the classroom." said Boston.

"Ok, thanks for the lesson!" I replied. I had an excuse to stay away from Barry for a couple of minutes! Finally I was the last person left in the room. As I was shutting the blinds Barry walked in. he locked the door.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at? I TOLD YOU TO WEAR THE SKIRT." He shouted at me. Great, that excuse didn't work.

"Barry, I tried explaining it to you, I'm a boy. Would you go around wearing a skirt?" I suggested meekly. If I tried to act tough maybe he wouldn't be so angry.

"Oh, so you're a boy." He said, and then he swiftly came over to me and pulled down my jeans. "DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BOY?" he looked at me… there… "Answer me, little sis, does it?" At this point silent tears were falling down my cheeks. I was trying to pull up my trousers, but he pinned my arms to the wall.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Baz please let me go home."

"I can't let you go until you've learnt your lesson." His smile was back. His eyes were black as he tried to gain eye contact with me. "You have to do what I say. You know why? Because I'm your big brother and I have to look out for you." He was unbuckling his trousers now. He wasn't really going to… was he? He's my brother…

"Barry, what are you doing?" I asked cautiously.

"Like I said, Kace, teaching you a lesson" He was serious. He thrust his hard cock into me. It was so big. The pain was unbearable. I tried to run away but he lifted me by my shirt and put me back against the wall. I was screaming so he forced his lips onto mine. He opened my mouth he stuck his tongue inside it. He had stopped raping me but he pushed my head down so that I was on my knees.

"Suck it." Was all he said. By now I realized that it would be better if I just did what he said. So I did. I didn't even like boys. I was a boy. It was so wrong, especially because he was my brother. I had lost my virginity to my brother.

After he was done, he left me passed out in pain on the floor. The last thing I remember was his smirk, looking at me with this sick look on his face.

"Still feel like a boy?" He asked.

It was 1 hour later when I woke up and he was gone. I got dressed, and got on my bike and went home. When I walked in the door, mum was asking where I had been.

"Yeah, where were you?" asked Baz, taunting me. I couldn't say what had happened. He was still my brother.

"Oh, I was playing footie with Jack and the lads." I said, the lie sticking to my tongue like glue.

"You and that bloody football." She muttered. But at least she didn't question it. I ran upstairs to my room to think. Was that the only time? Or will he do it again? At dinner he sat next to me and was touching me and fingering me under the table. It wasn't a one off. I couldn't say "Stop, Barry, you're hurting me."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – The Nightmare**

**Kacey's POV**

_Barry was on the floor, he had a bullet wound in his chest._

"_Barry, Barry…" I heard myself cry out. I was getting closer to him. He was slumped against the wall of the bike shed. I reached out and touched him. His wound was gone. He stood up and I tried to run but my feet were stuck. He grabbed me by my hair and lifted me up. He jabbed my arm with his flick knife and slowly dragged it down. A deep cut appeared in my arm. I screamed and screamed._

I was woken up by Barry getting into my bed. I pretended to be asleep because if he knew I was awake… But he still knew.

"I heard you calling out for me." Fuck, was that out loud? "Don't worry, Kace, I'm here now. I'll make it better." No, you won't. He hugged me and said "Don't worry, Kace" I hated his touch. How could I not worry when I knew what he did to me?

"Baz…" I started.

"What?" The look was back in his eyes.

"Um, can I get to sleep? I'm really sorry, but I'm just tired." He looked at me.

"Um, no. you still haven't learnt your lesson, have you?" He was looking at me, he means… ohhh fuck. "I can't stop until you're normal."

"Ok. Fine.I'll wear the skirt. Just please don't…" As I said that, he started to rape me again. I started screaming and crying

"Can you shut up? Barry what are you doing in there?" Dynasty asked as she walked into my room.

"Kace had a nightmare." Barry lied quickly. She didn't notice what he was doing to me. Once she left the room, he smirked and said,

"Dyn doesn't care about you, nobody does. I can do this whenever I want. I can have you whenever I want." I knew that it was true. Who would suspect my own brother?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Torture**

**Kacey's POV**

He finally left at like 1:00am. I woke up at like 7:30. Dynasty was shaking me.

"Wake up! We're going to be late! Oh, what was your nightmare about?" She asked. What? Oh yeah. Barry's cover up story. Better play along.

"Um, yeah I forgot." Great lie.

"So all that screaming for nothing? Never mind. Hurry up." She left the room Yeah, all that was for nothing…

XXXXX

I hadn't had time to look in the mirror. When I finally did, I saw someone completely different. My hair was lanky, my eyes had bags under them and my clothes were scruffy. I was wearing my clothes not that skirt. Barry didn't stop so I won't stop. I still wanted to be me.

Once I actually got to school, I went to put my bike in the shed. Who was there? Oh yeah, my psychopathic brother. Great.

"You don't learn, do you?" He grabbed me.

"Look, please, Barry, don't do this to me. I'm your sister." I was begging him now.

"And that's the reason why I'm doing this. You need to be normal. This is what girls do and YOU are a girl. Got it?"

"Yes, Barry." I mumbled.

"Go to your lessons, then." Phew. "Meet me back here at lunch." Crap.

XXXXX

Morning lessons went too quick. At lunchtime, I ate my lunch as slowly as possible and then went to the bike shed. Barry was already there.

"Where were you? I've been waiting here for ages."

"Sorry"

"You know that I was going to say sorry, and stop. But when I was waiting for you, I realized that you don't deserve it." He reached into his pocket. My nightmare was coming true. I was trying to run away when he lifted me up by my hair so that we were face to face. He cut into my leg. The blood was running down his arm but he didn't stop. I was crying uncontrollably.

"You are a girl. If you want me to stop, tell me that." Barry whispered. Everything was telling me to tell him yes, but that wasn't me.

"N…No, I'm a boy." He dug deeper into my skin. The bell rung.

"Saved by the bell." He smirked as he took the knife out. "See you at home." He left me on the floor crying.

I had cleaned up my leg in the bathroom. When I walked into class late, I got a detention. Fun day so far.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Ruins**

**Kacey's POV**

Barry continued to rape me and torture me for the next 2 weeks. I just wear the skirt now. I thought it would make him stop, but he still does it. He enjoys it or something. This one time, when mum and Dynasty were out, he held my hand in some boiling water. I told mum that I had spilt some tea. She's happy now that I wear the skirt. I've lost all my friends because Barry goes around telling everyone to stay away from me or else so school now is hell.

On the day which Barry cut my leg, we went to visit Dad. Barry asked to talk with him alone. When he came back out he was smiling, that sick smile… he beckoned me to follow him so I did, what choice did I have?

"You know what Dad wanted?" He asked.

"No."

"He was telling me to set you straight."

"What do you mean?"

"That I'm doing well, that you have to act like a girl. He told me to tell you to listen to me. And to send him a video." And that was when my life started to end.

XXXXX

Two clear blue lines, I was pregnant. Barry was the dad. I went into his room, all his mates were there. I had no idea what they were doing, but it was probably illegal.

"Barry…"

"What?" He was annoyed.

"I need to tell you something."

"Yeah, well tell me later. Can't you see that I'm busy?"

"No, Baz, now." He frowned and followed me out into the hallway.

"This better be quick. I was in the middle of a deal."

"I'm… I'm pregnant." I mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"I'm pregnant." I said a bit louder.

"What the hell? With who?"

"Who do you think?"

"Me?"

"Who else?"

"Erm. Talk to me later, I'm doing something now." How could he be so calm? He went back into his room.

"What was that all about?" I heard one of his friends say.

"Just my sister being annoying."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7-My Cousin**

**Kacey's POV**

Later on, when all of his friends had left, Barry stopped me on the way to my room.

"Come with me." I followed him into his room. He lent down and talked to my stomach, "Hey, I'm your dad! Wait, but I'm also your Uncle? You know why you're alive? BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING SLUT OF A MA DIDN'T DO WHAT HER BIG BROTHER SAID. And we don't want her ma finding out about you, do we? So you're going to have to die." He killed my baby; he punched and kicked me so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks. I had learnt not to scream or he would just make it worst. I wish I was dead.

XXXXX

My life went on with Barry beating me to a pulp and raping me every day. Then, one Thursday night, he came into my room and nestled into my neck.

"You know, Johnny's coming to stay with us this weekend, because it's Dynasty's birthday."

Oh god, no. Johnny was my cousin and he was worst then Barry, he was a drug dealer and he had killed his dad when he was 12. He was now 19 and he had been to prison more times than I could count. When I was younger, he would babysit me and it was horrible. He would slap me, Kick me and do whatever he wanted... He had been in jail for 5 years since then and I never visited him when Barry did because I was so scared of him. Barry used to tell me, when I was bad, that he would call Johnny and get him to sort me out.

Barry said that Johnny was going to kill me if I told anyone about what Barry does. He then told me to go to his room and get his camera. He said that he was going to make a video of him raping me to send to Johnny. He did just that and told me to smile for the camera. He made me tell the camera why I was being punished. Why was I?

XXXXX

Saturday.

"KACEY, Wake up!" Mum shouted up the stairs. "Johnny's going to be here soon!" I groaned and snuggled down further under my duvet. "KACE! GET UP!" she shook me awake.

"Mummmmmm, can't you let me sleep? It's Saturday!"

"Yeah, and your cousin is going to be here soon. So get up." I think that she was a bit scared of him as well. I got out of bed. Barry had already left to pick Johnny up from the train station. As I was having a shower, I heard the car pull up. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I sped to put on my jeans and my T-shirt.

"I'm back!" Barry shouted from downstairs. I sprinted to my room.

"KACEY BARRY! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Mum shouted up. She waited for a second. "NOW!" I heard some mumbling from downstairs. There was no way in hell that I was going down there. They were talking for a while about god knows what. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs to my room.

"How's my baby cousin?" Johnny entered the room with my mum and Barry. God, He's changed. He had a tattoo running down the back of his neck and a scar on his cheek the shape of a Z. He was wearing a pair of faded black jeans and a leather jacket.

"Um… Hi Johnny!" He held his arms out for a hug. What the hell? After he saw me being raped? I went over to him and reluctantly hugged him.

He whispered in my ear; "You can't hide, slut." Barry smiled at me. Mum wasn't even looking. What the fuck is wrong with my family?

XXXXX

Later that day mum and Dynasty went out shopping for clothes for her birthday, so I was left alone with my psycho brother and my cousin who I haven't seen since he was in prison. I was in my room, re bandaging my cuts, when I heard Johnny call me

"Come here, Kace." I knew it was going to happen; it was going to be either him or Barry. I cautiously walked towards Barry's room. As I walked in, I saw them both smoking roll ups.

"Come and sit on my lap, baby." I walked over to him and sat down on his lap. He smelled awful. "There's a good little girl." He smirked, just like Barry. He pushed his fag on my hand; it was a shock, so I let out a little gasp. I had tears in my eyes but I didn't dare actually cry or he would… I don't know. He rubbed it further in. "Baz told me that someone," He softly moved his finger up my arm. "Had been sleeping around and gotten themselves pregnant. Good little girls don't do that kind of thing. Baz told me that you didn't listen to him so he had to sort you." Fresh tears sprung to my eyes as I remembered. "Now give your cousin a kiss." He grabbed my head and forced it towards him; I tried to move my head away but he was too strong. He forced his rough lips onto mine and made me open my mouth by pressing the fag further into my hand. I could feel his erection on my thigh. I knew what was coming. Barry had left to get some lunch or something that I didn't hear. Johnny had taken the fag off my hand but he was now shoving his hand up my shirt and feeling my tits under my bra. "You're mine, slag. You can't hide." I knew that he was right. Johnny stopped touching me and pulled down my jeans. He got out his dick and thrust it into of me.

"Johnny, Johnny... get off." I screamed.

"You know you like it, slut. Remember when you 10 and I was babysitting you?"

_5 years ago…_

_It was bedtime and I wanted a story._

"_Johnneeeyy, come and read Cinderella to me." I wined. (Yes, I know, Cinderella!) _

"_God, Kace, I fucking sick of Cinderella! I want to tell you another story." Johnny shouted from the kitchen. I thought that we were going to read the little mermaid or something. He walked into my room and looked at me. At that time, Johnny had curly blond hair (no scar) and electric blue eyes, just like Barry's. "Budge over then." He wanted to come into my bed? "Once upon a time there was a little girl named Kacey. She had a big cousin name Johnny" I laughed because I thought that I was famous. "Her cousin loved her very much." That was strange; Johnny never had ever said that he loved me. "But one night, Johnny was feeling a bit… Horny." _

"_What does horny mean?" he laughed at my innocence. It wasn't a nice laugh. _

"_You'll learn when you're older." His fingers ventured from my calf up to my thigh under my nightdress. It gave me a tingling feeling. It wasn't nice. "Johnny needed to make himself happy and wanted Kacey to be happy as well." Johnny traced his fingers further up towards my… It felt wired, wrong. _

"_Johnny…" He didn't hear. He started to rub me. Then he stuck his fingers up me. He was laughing as I cried._

_Back to the present._

"You loved every second of that." He was still inside of me. It was way bigger then Barry's. "You've always wanted me." All I could feel was blinding pain. My insides felt like they were going to explode.

About half an hour later, he heard the car pull into the driveway.

"Get up, go back to your room and don't say a thing about me."


End file.
